The story of the epic first encounter between Michael Banos and Tom Prince has never been told before. It is also not true.

It began innocently enough. Michael had noticed an interesting flyer on the cork board of his local post office advertising a free unicycle training course. After procuring the booklet of Roseanne Barr collector’s edition stamps he had gone for, he decided now was to be the time he undertook the penultimate challenge of taming the ancient art of the unicycle. He did not, however, want to go alone and decided to utilize Craig’s List to find someone of a similar disposition to share the experience. Tom saw the classified while perusing the activities section looking for someone to help him simulate the zombie apocalypse. He decided to put his preparations on hold and join Michael at the unicycle bonanza. A friendship was born.

On the day of the training course, Michael and Tom arrived at the post office only to find out that the event was bring your own wheel. Neither one of them owned any piece of a unicycle, and were greatly disappointed that they would not be able to participate. “Well what do you want to do?” Tom asked.

“This kid gave me a flyer the other day,” Michael said. “It’s apparently for a fluorescent light bulb sword fight that’s going down behind the abandoned mall. I’m not too sure who these other dudes are, but the main event is a fight to the finish between Christopher Walken and David Caruso. I would imagine this will rule.” Tom nodded, and they started the short trek to the abandoned mall, pumped about the new plan for the day.

While they were meandering, they came upon a Port-O-Potty. This Port-O-Potty was the same as every other, with the exception of it harboring a rather shiny new mail box. They looked around, trying to locate the building that the mail box was attached to, but saw nothing else in the vicinity. Their interest peaked, they decided to have a look inside. Upon opening the door they were greeted by a large rock sitting on the toilet. It was wearing sunglasses and smiling broadly. It said, “Hey, are you guys headed to the Caruso-Walken fight? I’d love to come with if you are.”

“Yeah man, we’re headed that way,” Michael said. “You can totally roll with us, but only if we can call you Wesley.”

“Well, actually… I’d sort of prefer Kevin,” the rock said.

“I’m firm on this,” Michael replied. The rock, now known as Wesley, agreed and the three went on their way, headed once again toward the abandoned mall. Wesley turned out to have a disturbingly thorough knowledge of the television series Dallas, and would not stop blabbering on about it. Michael and Tom had never heard of the series before this day. However, after about fifteen minutes of Wesley’s incessant rambling, they were caught up to the third season.

“Damn dude,” Tom said. “I’m pretty sure I’ve never cared about anything less than I care about Dallas.”

“Wait ’til I get to the part where J.R. gets shot!” Wesley said. At that moment, a ninja came flying though the air, leg extended, and kicked Wesley. This sent the poor rock careening down the hill that the group was currently at the apogee of.

“Wessssslleeeeey!” Michael screamed, but it was no use. There would be no catching Wesley. He reached terminal velocity near the bottom of the street, where he intersected with a man on a unicycle, presumably coming from the post office. The impact was so great that Wesley was cracked in two. By the time the boys made it to the crash site, there was nothing that could be done. Beside the bisected Wesley were his sunglasses and a seemingly endless trail of blank sheets of paper. Not only that, but Wesley was no ordinary rock. He was a geode, filled with beautiful crystals.

Tom reached down and picked up the glasses. As he raised them to his face he said, “Man, I think that ninja was only a yellow belt. Weird.” Once he had the glasses on, he noticed that the blank sheets of paper were no longer blank, but covered with brilliant designs. He passed the glasses to Michael, who was also taken aback by the ridiculous images he now saw. The two of them shared a sly smile. And thus began KKBB.